Chalkballerina: Weddings and Writings; Whimsy and Whining.

TIFF Day 5

TIFF day 5:

 

The Waiting City by Claire McCarthy (Australia):  Rating = 5.  I watched this movie today directly before flying back to Seattle.  It felt like a perfect ending.  The film is about a married couple from Australia who are in India to adopt a baby.  The entire movie was filmed in Calcutta – the director from Australia introduced the screening and she herself was quite lovely.  The film is about two people trying to find each other and figure out how the hell to love each other.  I loved it. 

 

TIFF is magical.  I am absolutely hooked.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.  

 

I also feel definitively “tenderized.”  Good movies have a way of taking my breath away, and after 5 days it’s a bit hard to breathe.  More like I just went for a really amazing run than needing an oxygen tank.    

You should come with me next year.   

TIFF Day 4

Tiff day 4:

***Before every movie there is a little notice that piracy is forbidden, and at TIFF there was a tradition started (due to excessive drinking and excessive movie watching) where the audience says "AARRRRR" like a pirate when this notice comes on the screen.  It is seriously the funniest thing I've ever heard - sometimes there's 50 people who yell "AARR", and sometimes the audience is a bit more uppity and it's just one person who dares yell "AARRR", inevitably followed by laughter in the theater. I LOVE it. AAAAAARRRRRRRRR.   
 

The Damned United by Tom Hooper (United Kingdom): Rated by me at a very weak 2 – if you want to see a sports film that is missing everything you love about sports films, see this one. 


Micmacs by Jean-Pierre Jeunet (France): 5.  Done and done.  You HAVE to see this one – by the director of Amelie, and every bit as magical.  Jean-Pierre spoke after the film and it was absolutely fascinating to listen to and watch him.  Contrary to my reaction to Herzog, I found Jean-Pierre to be fantastically alive and creative and open.   SEE THE MOVIE.  It will make you happy.  It is smart, aesthetically thrilling and sweet in a way that only Jean-Pierre can create. 

 

Police, Adjective by Corneliu Porumboiu (Romania): 3 – it’s not a movie for the weak attention spanned.  I really liked it – but let’s just say that about 80% of the theater was asleep.  I heard a few people saying “Damn Romanian movies” on their way out.  I would describe it as a stark and honest damn Romanian movie.  There is an agonizingly slow pace and huge amounts of space in the film, but again, in the name of honesty, not in a lame attempt to be artsy or edgy or smart (AHEM, The Ape).

 

Phantom Pain by Matthias Emcke (Germany): I rate this a 5 and I want to jump around while I say it. “FIVE, FIVE.”  Brilliant.  Perfectly edited – everything was as it should be – you can just open up your heart and brain and take in the film as a whole.  There is nothing to distract you or sift through.  It is based on a true story and the man it is based on was at the premiere – so magical.  I also got to see the drop dead gorgeous German stud Til Schweiger (in PERSON! OH MY GOD).  Are you KIDDING ME? He is stupid hot.  His actual daughter plays his daughter in the film, which was fun to know as I watched the movie.  This is one I will want to watch again.  One of my favorite lines: “one of the best things about being alone is that there is no one there to tell you your happiness is unfounded.”  I’ve thought about that line a lot since I heard it.   

 

Baaria by Giuseppe Tornatore (Italy): Rating is a 4.  Gorgeous movie.  I had 2 guys sitting directly behind me who were speaking quite loudly in Italian throughout the entire movie - I have to admit, I liked it.  The main characters are two of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen.  Certain scenes took my breath away with how much beauty they held.  Very epic story – covers about 60 years of a family.  Lovely, satisfying movie speckled with humor and brilliantly acted.   Also I’d like to give a big shout out to Francesco Scianna for his 1950’s ish staggering handsomeness.  


TIFF Day 3

Tiff day 3: 

***Please note that the number one most important thing to have at a film festival is a flask.  Thank you to my darling friend Meghan for giving me a boot flask last year for my birthday – I will live my whole life trying to portray to her what a perfect gift that was... and drinking from my flask.  

 

Mother and Child by Rodrigo Garcia (USA): Solid 5: one of the best movies I have ever seen – it is rare that I see a movie that presents such a powerful message while maintaining such a delicate tone and graceful pace.  Imagine watching a beautiful ballet dancer covered in scars.  I bawled my eyes out; the acting will absolutely win awards for Naomi Watts, Samuel Jackson and Annette Bening.

 

Blessed by Ana Kokkinos (Australia): I give this a 4 – and you must, must see it.  There were a few unnecessary characters, etc… the editing could have been tighter (I think her next films will be much better), but the thrust of the story will take your breath away and the acting is fantastic.  Blessed also has one of the most powerful scenes in a film I’ve ever seen – during this scene I felt like my body was literally frozen.

 

*at this point in my day I thought to myself, “if I see another film about the agony and wonder of motherhood I will jump out of a window”… luckily, the next movie was in fact NOT a movie about the theme of motherhood, therefore allowing me to continue living. 

 

The Ape by Jesper Genslandt (Sweden): I give this film a 1 because when I asked my friend Larry if the rating system allows a film to receive a rating of “0” he said no, but I’ve decided to reject his authority and to go ahead and give this film a 0.   I dub this movie a complete failure.  It was so boring that I had to fight playing the penis game in the theater.  You see the back of the characters head for about 90% of the film, the ending is absolutely pointless and as a whole The Ape is my new definition of “waste of time.”  It really does take a lot for me to feel like I have wasted time – even moments of silence or complete stillness are valuable on some level – but this film? Nope.  Waste of time.  “It was so APE.”  That’s my new phrase.  HORRIBLE. 

 

My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done by Werner Herzog (USA/Germany): 5 – this is the new Werner Herzog film (along with the one I reviewed yesterday), and is fanTASTIC.   One of the weirdest movies I have ever seen – visually the film is delicious.  The tone of the dialogue and acting is comedic, but in a very odd way – it leaves you feeling off balance in the ways the brain likes a clear choice between “sad” and “happy”.  There are multiple moments where I found myself laughing while feeling my blood run cold.  The film follows a man slowly collapsing into full-fledged schizophrenia (that is not ever stated in the movie, it’s just me diagnosing the main character) and Herzog brilliantly uses the humor and the terror that is intrinsic within insanity as the energy of the film.  Herzog spoke before and after the screening, and was obviously extremely proud of this film.  

Also, I found Herzog to be a bit of a defensive ass, which surprised me because I thought I would want to have his babies.  But he can be whatever he wants – his movies are amazing. 

 

 

Ended the day at a bar that was recommended to me by a certain Mr Canada I met recently.  My friend and I went after the last movie of the day and had a few beers that I’d never heard of.  Toronto is a blast: you know a city has night life when you can find a bar that has people dancing and a DJ playing at midnight on a Wednesday.  

TIFF Day 2

This second day in Toronto kicked so much ass.  Best movies ever... today seriously blew my mind with it's incredible movies.  Plus I went to the tip-tippy-top of the CN tower and almost had a panic attack.  It took me about 15 minutes to get myself to stand on the glass floor... are you KIDDING ME??? TERRIFYING.  Movies I saw today and my own personal rating: 

1. A Prophet by Jacques Audiard (France): First movie of the day and a solid 5... think epic prison movie that tears your heart out and makes it sing all at once.  

2. Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans by Werner Herzog (USA): 5... Nicholas Cage is not my favorite, but he absolutely rocks the house in this role - hilarious and profoundly disturbing... I laughed like a hyena. 

3. Youth in Revolt by Miguel Arteta (USA): This gets a 5 from me... Michael Cera is more amazing in this role than ever before, and the movie is perfect.  Again, I laughed like a hyena.  AND I saw Michael Cera 3 times and could have slapped his ass he was so close to me.  

4. [REC]2 by Jaume Balagueró, Paco Plaza (Spain): I give this one a 2.  It was a horror film, and it was terrifyingly perfect as a midnight movie to end the day.  The entire theater was screaming, and the directors were present... so fun.  But, I hate horror movies.  

Highlights:  I saw Michael Cera... I walked right past him being interviewed on my way into the movie (was running late at the time) and made a crazy face into the camera behind his head, and then again in the theater he walked past me just a few feet away.  I whispered "MICHAEL" as creepily as I could.  I'm pretty sure he heard me.  I know this will come as a shocker, but he is adorable.  

I also saw Werner Herzog and Nicholas Cage at the premiere of Bad Lieutenant: Nicholas Cage is painfully shy and Werner Herzog is a perfect human being.  
 

TIFF Day 1

Toronto is awesome.  I am doing the festival with a friend who has done it for the past five years - so he knows where to go, where to try to sit so I can touch celebrities, etc.  

Quick update on day 1... 

I saw five movies from 9am until about 11:30pm.   I absolutely loved three of them.  One was lame, and one was a good try, the kind that makes you feel sorry for it's failure, but still a failure nonetheless.  

Movies from day 1 and how I rate them: 

A Serious Man by the Coen brothers (Rated 5, for being totally awesome. Coen brothers make me hot)

Get Low by Aaron Schneider (Rated 2, for being lame, but Robert Duvall is amazing)

Same Same But Different by Detlev Buck (Rated 5 because a 6 wasn't available)

Ondine by Neil Jordan (Rated 2 because I feel sorry for everyone involved, and because Colin Ferrill is HILARIOUS and was at this premier and is totally an irish badass and sat directly in front of me 4 rows up (his hair looked like a rooster... hot).  

Leaves of Grass by Tim Blake Nelson (Rated a very high 4 and I think it would have been a 5 except my friend hated and I'm easily influenced by my peers... marijuana?) 

But here's the important part.  First of all at the premier of Same Same But Different (AMAZING film... good god), David Kross was standing in the walkway of the theater... I seriously almost started screaming like I was 12 years old.  I felt all frantic and silly and full of hormones and that strange sort of hope that MAYBE David would see me and we would have babies together and grow organic vegetables someday.  
It's amazing to watch how many people do not interact with the stars - we were filing out of the movie and everyone was just doing this half wave at him, a little "hee hee" wave.  Fuck that.  I wanted to touch him and talk about vegetables.  When I walked past I stopped and took his arm in my hand and squeezed it, and got really close to his face and said, "I love you, I love you, I love you."  To which David responded with a huge smile and said "Why, THANK you."  There was major sexual tension.  I actually might be pregnant. 

All the directors were present at the showings except for the Coen brothers, probably because they were hung over.  I also saw Danny Devito, Carrie Russell... he's short, she's cute.  

At the premier of Leaves of Grass I was sitting on the far right side of the theater about 10 rows back from the front, in the seat directly in front of the walkway where the cast walked up on stage before and after the film.  When Edward Norton walked past the crowd went crazy, so they kept the lights down to keep the energy of the crowd down - because ya know, he's awesome - but I could see it was him, so I threw my head back and hung it off the back of my chair and made a crazy face at him (why do I ALWAYS do that?? I will NEVER find love).  He laughed at me.  After the question and answer time he walked off stage, and of course I was staring at him, and, I kid you not, he turned around, looked for me, and made the same crazy face at me.  

Pretty much Christmas right now.  Pretty much.  I'm off for another dose of film.  Plus a big tower.  And then I'm meeting up with David Kross later for beer... 

TIFF please

I am so excited at this exactly moment in time that I keep randomly twitching and having to listen to Hey Hey Hurray by Ryan Bingham on full volume and having a quick private dance party.  

I leave today for a week in Toronto for their International Film Festival... yeah I know, I'm jealous of myself right now. 

I'll be updating with dirty tidbits and hopefully some reviews of the movies - writing this little snippet is me basically forcing myself to do what I just stated as fact.  Because it is fact now.  Because I just wrote it. 

Amen.